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I looked over my shoulder and blew the smoke from my last inhalation his way. I sat on the couch, my legs spread wide as I looked at him and began looking though my mail again, my cigarette dangling from my lips while I looked his way. “Now you’re just teasing me.” he said. “I just came by to see who was here, since I haven’t seen anyone home in nearly a month. Do you still live here?” he asked. “Of course.” I answered. “I’ve just been very busy and Velvet has moved out of town. Her father went to visit and James is in school.” I told him. We had known Gerald for quite some time, since we had built our house nearly 15 years ago. “I know how busy you and Velvet have been, I do keep up on the internet porn you know.” he said with a smile. “I just miss my little visits with both of you.” he said. “So you’ve visited with Velvet before?” I asked, with a bit of curiosity. “She is definitely a lot like her mother.” Gerald said as he got up from his chair and walked toward me, stopping to. I see you are… smaller than you are. And grayer. And cold, sad. I beckon you to me and you climb onto my lap. My arms encircle you as you curl up. I feel larger than I am. Stronger. I hold you, stroking you hair and back through your sweatshirt. You are shivering. You may be crying. There is wetness seeping though my shirt. I hold you and rock a little bit until the shaking stops. I will my warmth into you, breathing slowly, holding and stroking. In time – how much doesn’t really matter – you sigh. I feel an ember of warmth reflected back to me and see a hint of color where your arms and legs peek from your clothing.You pull back from me a bit, pushing yourself up on my chest to look at me eye to eye. I see sorrow, pain, life, beauty, so many things. I know I can’t give everything you need. Perhaps nothing of lasting value, but it doesn’t matter. The light around us is just a little warmer for now, and that’s enough now.There is something else in your eyes. Need. Desire. Hunger. You.
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